This is a editorial with no research into the Catechism or Church Documents. If anything needs correcting to be in line with the Magesterium, please feel free to correct me!
One of the blogs I follow (via igoogle) is Conversion Diary… Jen is a former athiest who came to The Church via reason-filled discernment vs. a profound spiritual experience. And she’s had a lot to do (via the blog) with why I’m reverting.
And today, she wrote about something that stings a little. And solidifies in my heart that I’m right reverting to Catholicism- that I FELT awesome when I was at an Evangelical Church. I FELT that the Holy Spirit indeed was in that place. Mass was boreing… I was told that I was sacrificing my time for Jesus, and that should be enough. I did feel different whilst IN the Church, but as far as saying I had an experience week after week… Not so much.
Leaving Mass, few and far times between did I have a “God High” like I did when I was leaving the other church- On Fire and whatnot. No, I felt like it was over, and there I was- driving back home. Fin. That’s it.
This post on Conversion Diary really clicked. I do have to admit, part of that “God High” from going to Evangelical services was the experience via the environment- contemporary music, a charismatic preacher (very southern, very funny and based very much in Pentacostal preaching), a Starbucks-rivaling coffee shop… the environment was VERY electric. So were the people. The director at the Pregnancy Center goes there, and I was her seat buddy. I left energized and wanting to be The. Best.Christian.EVER.
But today I was God-smacked. The quote from Peter Kreeft and his book Jesus Shock Jen used sums it up:
Feeling Him in the heart is not enough either, for that is SUBJECTIVE, that is OURS, that is FALLIBLE.
Emphasis (caps) mine.
Truly- is what we feel SUBJECTIVE and OURS? Well, yeah… matters of faith and God are on such personal a level that I doubt anyone can feel exactly what someone else does in the exact same way. I can feel God- as can the person next to me- but is he/she feeling it the EXACT same way? It’s subjective defined.
And what is human (OURS) is and always will be Fallible. If
I we focus on ourselves when it comes to our encounter with God, we’re chasing our tails… It’s like going through a bad cell area- that person on the other end (God) can hear us- yet we hear nothing. Now, do we hang up in frustration that our message wasn’t heard and keep trying in vain to re-connect with them, or do we hang up in faith that our message was heard? What’s the human reaction?
Feeling/experiencing God constantly and in a profound way is more like awesome cell coverage. We’re communicating and know we’re heard. Sometimes that happens. And it’s kick arse!
But a lot of the time it’ll be the bad cell reception. We need to continue on in faith that God is there on the line. He’s listening. And we’ll come back to good cell coverage on His time table.