This is my definition of “Homekeeping” ……… as I define it right NOW, or how I perceive it should be? As I perceive it to be: my husband spends 2 hours a day in commute and should come home to a peaceful environment and only help where it’s absolutely needed. My children should know where their toys (and all components) are, as well as having clean clothing and a nice place to lay their head. I should not have CHAOS (Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome). I really need to work on the ideal of Hospitality. I should never wonder if laundry was put up, or bar guests from the bedrooms for fear they may trip over something. I should be able to have someone over at any point of the day and not worry about how it looks.
As it IS- it’s a mess that never ends; it defeats the purpose to keep things in order, because the kids will just come in and mess it up anyway. I’m going to be stuck in a cycle that roughly consists of:
breakfast, dishes, pick up toys #1, laundry, lunch, dishes, pick up mess #20, run around to make sure that no toys can be seen in the LR before hubby comes home, put dinner on the table, dishes, bed times and then the alarm goes off (seemingly) 5 minutes later and it’s the next day… same thing all over again.
When I was in the corporate world, I had SOMETHING different each day… and for the most part, when I finished a project, it was DONE- it didn’t come back in full force the very next day.
My favorite place to practice the profession of homekeeping is …..The kitchen. A talent I have. I can cook with the best of them and I have delusions that Paula Deen and Giada DiLaurentiis are my very best friends. I’m pretty good at sewing as well… but I have no time to practice that, it seems, with the chore list I have every day. I have about 10 pillowcases to turn into dresses, and not one stitch has come to them.
I do/do not find joy in keeping my home and I think the reason is ….. I do not. Not until it’s recognized. If I clean the entire home and have things in order, and no one sees it (or hubby doesn’t say anything) it just becomes futile servitude and I loose my motivation. I guess I have to be ok with the fact that my children will eventually sit back and go “my mom worked hard for us growing up- I want my household just like hers”, and more importantly, I’ve done it because God has obviously made this my season as a homemaker and it should be sufficient that He sees it. I’ve tried running away from being a homemaker and have yet to be hired outside the home.
At this point in my life, this is what I believe my children, husband and/or other family members think about our home…. My husband hates the way I “keep house”. And my children are too young to voice appreciation- they’re at the ages that it’s taken for granted (not maliciously) and don’t understand why mama whines, yells and cries when the toys cover the living room floor. My mom and dad don’t say anything about messes because they’re in the same boat. My mother in law will tell me the house is lovely and I’m doing a great job, but then call her son and belittle me as a lazy good-for-nothing.
The things I wish someone had told me about homekeeping when I was young.… Um, Word One?!! My mother was a great visual homemaker (therefore I am too)- if someone was coming, we knew about it and went into a frenzy… therefore the house was lovely for company. But if we had no one coming, a pot of spaghetti would be left out for a day with no one cleaning it up. My husband has a bit of OCD (methinks), and has to have everything in order. SO not meshing well.
The messages that I received about homemaking and being a wife/mother when growing up were ….. I am a child coming up in the post-sexual revolution heyday of feminism. Homemaking was for fanatical, misogynistic households. You are nothing until you have a career, and an eyebrow went up if you said you were leaving said career to raise kids at home- that’s what daycares are for. I grew up in a household that we financially needed 2 incomes so that we didn’t get thrown out on the street… my parents were (and are) in deep debt from the start, so two incomes is what was needed to keep from drowning. Now they’re nearing retirement age and I don’t know what they’re gonna do. So for my mom to be out of the home and us be responsible for the home (let alone latch key kids), I had no idea how to handle this “thing” called a home.
6 blessings that God has given me this week are …. an amazing group of friends from church and volunteering. Bills are paid and we STILL have enough to get our other car up and running. Husband doing the grocery shopping this week, Husband giving DD and I a nice Girls Night In by taking DS to the racetrack (DS’s Utopia), a caring, on-top-of-things landlord and a lovely (if messy) home to live in and finally, food, clothing and air in my lungs… all of which I OWE Him.
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